What's True Art?
by PowPowa
Summary: A collection of Vocaloid oneshots, updated sporadically and often 2 stories at a time. Newest: Miki had no idea why she was suddenly a human, not a bird. Rated T for a variety of things.
1. Loud, Like a Sweater

_" Am I worthless?"_

There had been a great deal of trouble with developing the Miku Hatsune engine.

As a matter of fact, that great deal of trouble was standing next to her right now, quietly drinking a bottle of sake and looking very much like a dormouse in front of a hawk.

_" Am I worthless?"_

She wanted to ask, but she couldn't ask that. It was the only answer she wanted, the only answer she could possibly be content with. But she couldn't get the answer, because she was so afraid of the question...

" OHMYGAWSH! HAKU! You've GOT to try this on, it'll look positively adorable on you!" the teal-haired bubble of energy next to her squealed, thrusting a heavy white sweater covered in pink dots at her. On closer examination, Haku noticed the pink dots were just badly embroidered hearts. She disliked the pattern, but... If Miku got angry at her, she could just say, " Get rid of Haku," and they would get rid of Haku.

" It looks great, Miku-nee," Haku replied, with a barely there smile. She hated her voice; it was so scratchy and low. Miku's was bright and bubbly, like a waterfall of happiness and pop music. Haku glanced around to look for the exit of the store, but Miku seemed to mistake it for her looking for changing rooms.

" Haku-oneechan! The changing rooms are over here, silly!" she giggled, and dragged her to the changing rooms, opening a door and shoving her into one. Haku quickly swiveled around.

" Miku-nee-" she half-protested, but Miku had already closed the door.

" Don't keep me waiting!" she yelled from the other side of the door. Haku sighed and pulled her top off, already familiar with Miku's impatience.

_" Am I worthless?"_

Shrugging the heart-covered sweater over her head, Haku got the faint idea that the only reason she hadn't been dismantled already was that Miku needed someone to drag around to places like this. The Crypton officials wouldn't let her interact much with Vocaloids from other companies, and Meiko & Rin were much to fiery to order around like this; Luka was busy all the time, and Neru was always on her phone, messaging God-knows-who. That left her to be Miku's company on shopping trips.

" Are you done yet, Haku-oneechan?" Miku asked suddenly, her voice brimming with bubbles." We don't have much time left before I have to go sing a new song, remember? I want to go to a couple more stores!"

" Y-yeah, Miku-nee," Haku stammered, opening the door and stumbling awkwardly out. Why did she call Miku Miku-nee anyway?

Right.

Miku had asked her to call her that, after a week of Haku calling her "Hatsune-dono". Who was she to say no? As long as Miku was happy, she'd still be walking around, half-intoxicated.

" You need to stop drinking all the time, Haku-oneechan!" Miku lectured her. Haku was only half-listening- it didn't really matter to her, since it was nigh-impossible for her to go a day without an hour or two she couldn't recall. " You know it's bad for you!" Seeing Haku's apathetic expression, she quickly changed the subject.

" That sweater looks great on you, Haku-oneechan!" She clapped her hands together, smiling eagerly. " Now shoo! Put it back on the hanger, so we can buy it! You can wear it next time we go shopping!" The words sounded so sweet from her, but Haku felt something then.

She felt something break.

" Um, Miku-nee, I don't really like this sweater... It's kind of... too loud for my tastes..." she whispered, holding her sleeve tightly.

_" Am I worthless?"_

She had to ask it now, or she never would, would she? She would just keep wondering.

" Okay! Then we can go find something you like, Haku-oneechan!" Miku chirped, confusion in her eyes. Haku knew why- she never told Miku she disliked anything she picked out, even if she hated it.

" Miku-nee..." she whispered, her voice dry.

" Miku-nee... Am... I... worthless?" she asked, looking down. The floor was pitching in circles; her feet looked like a water-color painting.

" No, of course not, Haku-oneechan!" Haku could faintly hear her voice echoing from all directions.

_" Worthless?"_

_" Worth?"_

_"Worthless?"_

_"Worth?"_

" Haku-oneechan, are you okay?" She was falling into some sort of black, right? What was black, again? Something dark. What was dark, again? Black.

_" Worth what, exactly?"_

* * *

><p>" Haku-oneechan! Are you okay? They said you got alchohol poisoning, and you hit your head when you fell, too!" She could see a turquoise blob hovering above her head. Oh, some other ones too. She sat up weakly and looked down at her clothes. She was still wearing the sweater.<p>

" I hate this sweater..." she mumbled feebly. " I hate you..."

Everything was coming back into focus. The blobs were Miku and the rest of the Cryptonloids, even Neru(who despised gatherings of any kind). Why did she still feel so wobbly? She was laying down, you're not supposed to feel wobbly while laying down...

Miku was looking at her weird.

They were all looking at her kind of weird.

" Wh-what was that, Haku-oneechan?" Miku asked, sounding uneasy.

" I hate this sweater... I hate you, too... You're too loud, like the sweater..." Haku half-repeated. She still felt wobbly, but it was all focusing now.

" I... what?" Miku was staring at her, with that uneasy expression amplified. Everyone else was silent, awkwardly looking away. There was a series of fast clicks as Neru's figners pounded on her cell phone.

" I mean, I like this sweater, Hatsune-dono, let's go buy it now," Haku corrected herself frantically, seeing tears gathering at the edge of Miku's eyes. " It's very pretty, Hatsune-dono! You're very pretty, Hatsune-dono!"

Wait.

Why were Luka and Meiko pushing the twins and Kaito out? Why was Hatsune crying, again? Were they still at the department store, or not...? Her head hurt.

Miku ran out of the room, and Haku reached out awkwardly after her. Her legs hurt.

" Ha-hatsune-dono! W-wait! You can buy the sweater, if you want me to wear it, because I'll wear for you, Hatsune-dono!"

* * *

><p>Also known as "The chapter that isn't based off a song". You can tell how little I researched this, amirite? I had to edit this, actually, because I forgot to put a divider in and it messed it up... Eto... I don't own Vocaloid, because if I did, there would be Nashimoto-P worshipping cults worldwide.<br>Update: If you're rereading this, you may have noticed I've deleted the original first chapter. It was quite a bit different than the rest of the oneshots, and it didn't fit in well at all, so I removed it.


	2. Love Won't Reach

Luka disliked quite a lot of things.

She disliked going shopping with Miku.

She disliked watching Rin and Len's soccer matches.

She disliked helping Meiko keep Kaito from buying ice cream on grocery shopping trips.

She disliked Haku for drinking so much.

She disliked Neru for texting so much.

However, she put up with all of that with a quiet smile on her face, because there were two things Luka _did_ like.

Luka liked singing- which was obvious, of course, she was a Vocaloid.

Luka also liked partying.

Putting them hand-in-hand made her a very happy android, and she spent most of her time thinking about what club she'd go to that night. Everyone else simply pegged this as her spending time thinking about negotiating contracts (which was actually Meiko's job, since she was by far the oldest and therefore most responsible).

She stood in the mirror, looking at her outfit. A black bikini-style top that tied in the back, with a thick ribbon; black track pants with highlighter pink stripes down the side. She had a temporary heart tattoo on her cheek, and was thinking about tying her hair back.

" Nah, that wouldn't work..." she studied her hair intensely for a moment, then decided it would be best to just leave it down, and slipped on a pair of fingerless gloves.

Walking out of her room quietly, Luka checked that everyone was occupied and wouldn't bother her. Miku and Haku were gone -shopping, obviously-, Meiko was savagely berating Kaito for buying too much ice cream, Rin and Len were playing some horribly violent game on multiplayer and screaming ethnic slurs into their headsets, and Neru was quietly holed up on the couch, texting.

_Coast clear._

She speedwalked out the front door, opening and closing it as quietly as possible. Sure, she was legally an adult, but that didn't seem to perturb Meiko's wrath at all; maybe it was because she was the newest Vocaloid in the Crypton family? Meiko _did_ seem to have a mother complex underneath all that raging alchoholism.

Anyway.

She'd gotten hired at sing at one of the more popular clubs in town tonight, and they were paying her two hundred fifty dollars for it (she didn't do anything for over $500.00; that would attract attention from Crypton). Granted, she would probably spend half of it there, but that was a minor triviality. The club was probably happy it was so cheap to have THE Megurine Luka sing there, either way.

She tapped on the dial for the radio in the car irritatedly. Everytime she turned the station, it seemed to be playing a Miku song. It wasn't that she disliked Miku's voice; it was just that even if they were sisters, Luka had gotten tired of her voice being everywhere all the time. Finally settling on a station playing a song by Rin & Len (which amused her greatly, since it was a sad song, and yet all that came to mind was Rin screeching, " YOU CHEETO DUST COVERED FAG!" at her video game).

After humming along for a little bit, she noticed she had nearly driven by the club she was supposed to perform at and quickly swerved into the parking lot. To her distain, she almost hit a brunette man who was walking to the entrance.

She got out of the car hurriedly, slamming the door and running up to him.

" Shit, man, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed frantically. " I just almost missed the turn, and I'm su-"

" It's alright," he replied with a smile. " So, why are you here?"

Huh. Luka felt pressured to say, _"I'm Luka Megurine, the Vocaloid. I'm s'posed to sing here today. Why are you here?" _but it somehow didn't feel right. What if he was a stalker or something? Or what if he didn't like Luka Megurine? She covered the 03 on her shoulder, pretending to shiver. _God, Luka, you melodramatic idiot, stop it, _she thought, annoyed with herself.

" I'm here for the music," she replied cheerily, " I heard that that one Vocaloid is supposed to be singing here today, you know. Luka Megurine." _Nice, Luka. Like he hasn't seen you on TV._

He looked thoughtful for a moment.

" I had no idea she'd be performing here. Kind of... low for a Crypton Vocaloid. I don't go to clubs often though, so I'd have no idea, of course."

" Really?" Luka asked, kind of interested. " So why are you here?" They were almost to the door. _What do I do about my shoulder tattoo when we get inside? It's not cold inside._

" My boss thought I needed some time off, and told me to come here. I don't mind, I'm inclined to think he was right..." the man trailed off for a moment, then suddenly snapped back into focus. " Oh, hey, what's your name?" he asked. " I'm... Kiyoteru Hayami."

" It's Akiko Hitomi," she replied, lying through her teeth. But, then again, she didn't want Kiyoteru to know she was THE Luka Megurine, for some reason. Why, again? " Your name sounds kind of familiar," she commented. It did; she could remember hearing it before. He looked away for a moment. Oh. Had she said something wrong?

" Hayami-san, are you alright?" she asked, feeling slightly anxious.

He looked back with a smile.

" Yeah, Hitomi-san, I'm fine," he replied, as amiable as he had been a moment before. " Are you _still_ cold, Hitomi-san? We're already inside!" She looked down, noticing that she was still hugging herself.

" Oh!" she said, surprised. " We are! Hayami-san, it was verynicetotalktyouBYE!" she ducked sideways into the crowd, hurriedly speeding to the bathroom.

" Hitomi-san, wait-" she could hear him say, sounding a bit disappointed.

Luka slammed the bathroom door and strode over to the mirror, staring at her reflection. She couldn't go up on stage looking like Akiko Hitomi; it was good thing she'd brought her typical "blend into the crowd" clothes change with her. She quickly put in a pair of violet contacts and changed into the denim minidress she had squeezed into her purse, along with the high heel boots she'd also somehow gotten in. Puffing her hair up in the mirror, Luka wondered why she didn't want Kiyoteru to know she was Luka. _Maybe I just want to have a normal relationship outside of my family?_ she thought, fluffing her hair meticulously, and imprisoning her bangs with a headband. Maybe she didn't have any normal relationships at all; after all, the Cryptonloids were pretty weird, and the other Vocaloids acted professional and formal around her when they had to be together for events (with the exception of Gumi and Yuuki- but Gumi acted weird to everyone, and she'd only seen Yuuki once, besides which she was a little kid, and little kids don't act formal).

She quickly exited the bathroom, and speedwalked back to the management room of the club. When she walked in, she assumed her cool, mysterious public persona- much to the delight of the club owner, who looked quite irritated up until he had noticed she was there.

Luka bowed quickly and looked up at him.

" Gomen, _-san," she said calmly. " I didn't mean to be late. I had a traffic problem."

Of course, she knew he wouldn't chastise her, because he was already so lucky to have a real Cryptonloid performing at his club for dirt cheap prices, and he wasn't about to offend her.

" No worries, Luka-san! You can go out to sing any time!" he said, looking incredibly nervous. Luka wondered if he thought she had superhuman strength or some other sort of power from a sci-fi movie.

" Thank you,' she said, in a clipped tone. " My song list for today is as follows- Heart Won't Reach, Little Romance, Shitsuren Disco, Cheap Time Disco, Party Night, Natsumoyou, and Dance Music Technology. Is it alright if I perform right away?"

The club owner looked a little confused for a moment, then replied,

" Sure," he replied, and looked at who she assumed were the men in charge of the synth music. " Well, you guys heard Luka-san! Go out on a stage right away!" It amused her greatly that he was so nervous. Did he think she was going to eat him or something?

" _-san, I assure you, I don't bite," she told him in the same clipped tone. He chuckled a little nervously and replied,

" Of course not, why would I think that, Luka-san?"

She inwardly smiled and strode out of the room, to go find the stage.

* * *

><p>As she sang out the lyrics to the song, Luka scanned the crowd curiously. Was Kiyoteru still there, or had he left after she'd ran off so hurriedly? No, she spotted him over by the bar, ignoring a drunken person that kept tapping his shoulder.<p>

_I kind of want to go talk to him_, she thought, feeling incredibly awkward. Damn, had she missed a "wo"? No? Alright then. She focused on her song again.

What was she singing right now? Right.

Love Won't Reach.

* * *

><p>"YOU CHEETO DUST-COVERED FAG!" is barely scratching the top of it. If I'd included any other examples, I'd have to put this at an M rating. To be clear, this is technically the same universe as "Loud, Like a Sweater", but it's set before it. As for Kiyoteru, it's pretty easy to tell who he is, right? Right?<br>Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid, because if I did, only bitches would hate Kaai Yuuki and no one would call Gumi the Justin Bieber of Vocaloid (seriously, people who say that. Gumi is better than him and has more dignity).  
>Do you see the review button? He's still wallowing in that torrid darkness, but now he's slowing dying of cholera. Every time you click review, you alleviate a little bit of his suffering. Anyway, if you want to see Luka's first outfit, look up Cheap Time Disco. The second one is from the cover of EasyPop's album (Heartful Sequence) and this pretty much a Easypop-worship chapter, isn't it?<p> 


	3. Spaghetti and Songbirds

She didn't quite know how to deal with it.

One minute, she'd been flying around quite happily, singing as a bird is wont to do, and the next she found herself grounded awkwardly. She said awkwardly because she didn't feel quite a bird.

No, Miki didn't feel like a bird at all, and it disturbed her greatly. She _knew_ she still had wings, but what were these other things by her side? And she felt somehow more aware of everything.

" Miss, are you alright?" she heard someone ask. She looked up to see a human with blue hair looking at her anxiously. Why had she understood the human? Thinking of it, she looked a lot like a human...

She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. This surprised her greatly, and she frantically tried to speak, and clutched her throat.

" Can you speak?" he asked, looking even more anxious. She shook her head no (she could recall that humans signalled "no" with that, but she didn't know where she recalled it from). He smiled sympathetically.

" You should come home with me," he said with a smile. " Meiko can get you something to eat if you want, and I don't think you should stay out too long. Someone might try to take advantage of you," that ending statement sounded rather serious to her, so she nodded vigorously and allowed him to escort her to his car.

Miki liked his house (was that what humans called it?). It was very crowded, to say the least (she counted four other humans there) but it felt comfortable. It was filled with furniture (why did she know all these words? It frustrated her).

" Meiko!" the bluehaired man yelled. An irate-looking brunette woman stomped halfway down the stairs, holding a glass bottle full of something.

" What, Bakaito? Did you spe-" she cut off mid-sentence to stare in a confused manner at Miki, which made her very uncomfortable. She didn't like being stared at; she ducked her head down awkwardly.

'Bakaito' gestured to Miki, which also made her uncomfortable. Everybody else was starting to notice her, too. The blonde look-alikes on the long furniture-with-cushions had set down their pieces of plastic to turn around and observe her from the back of it; the pink-haired lady who had been eating a piece of fish while watching the glass screen was looking at her now, too. The girl with a side pony-tail pointed her cell at Miki and she heard a camera sound, then the side pony-tail girl continued making tapping noises as she had been doing before.

" Could you get her something to eat, Meiko?" 'Bakaito' asked, ignoring all the curious glances. 'Meiko' sighed, as though irritated, and stomped down the remainder of the stairs. She walked up to Miki and pointed at her.

" Who is she?" she demanded. 'Bakaito' shrugged half-heartedly.

" I was grocery shopping like you asked, Meiko, and when I left, she was sitting in the parking lot like she'd been hurt. And she can't talk, either. I think she's got amnesia," he supplied, patting Miki's head. She could feel the errant slick of feathers on top of her head bouncing up after each pat, which annoyed her greatly; she put both of her hands on top of her head, squishing it down in a fashion she thought of as merciless. She heard the blonde boy kind of laugh at that and shot a glare at him.

'Meiko' gave a disapproving cluck (did humans cluck? Miki didn't know) and shook her head.

" At least _you_ found her," she muttered, and grabbed Miki's wrist. " Okay, kid, let's go see what we can shove in your skinny little mouth," she ordered, and dragged a quizzical Miki into the hall and into another room that smelled faintly of food.

" Sit down there," 'Meiko' said, pointing at a furniture made of wood in front of another, longer furniture made of wood. Miki tapped across the floor and obediently sat down in the furniture she had motioned at. 'Meiko' smiled approvingly. " If you're that easy to order around, we might get along," she commented. " Now let me get you some food, alright?" she began rummaging around in the box-with-a-door that was a couple feet from the table. Miki watched with interest as she triumphantly pulled a plastic box filled with something out of it.

" I hope you don't mind leftovers, because that's what I'm feeding you," Meiko said in the same tone of voice, now putting the plastic box in another box. She hit part of it several times with her fingers, and Miki blinked in surprise as the box began glowing. There was a long silence as both her and 'Meiko' gazed at it.

Miki found in surprise she could tell what the marks that went by on a tiny rectangle on the box meant.

_" 6... 5... 4... 3... 2..." _She recoiled as a loud beeping sound erupted from the box. 'Meiko' opened the tiny door on the front of the box and took the plastic box out. She walked over to the table and peeled the top of the box off, placing it on the long furniture made of wood in front of Miki, and slapping a metal pronged-thing down next to it.

" Spaghetti," 'Meiko' supplied, apparently noting Miki's expression of confusion. She picked up the metal pronged-thing and twirled it around in the food in the plastic box. " You eat it with a fork like this, see?" she said carefully, lifting the 'fork' out of the box. It was now wrapped in food. 'Meiko' handed her the fork, and Miki carefully stuck it in her mouth, dislodged the food, and chewed thoughtfully. After swallowing, she got another forkful, and another. "_I like 'spaghetti', I suppose,"_ she thought, chewing meticulously. 'Meiko' was watching approvingly. Miki got the feeling she didn't approve of much.

" Meiko, what'd you give her to eat?" 'Bakaito' asked, poking his head in the door.

" Spaghetti from last night," Meiko replied curtly. 'Bakaito' looked slightly disappointed.

" What, no ice cream?" he asked, sounding sort of disappointed. Miki wondered why; 'spaghetti' was great. Was ice cream better?

" Hell no, normal people can't live solely on ice cream, Kaito," 'Meiko' snapped. Wait, was he 'Kaito' or 'Bakaito'? Miki felt confused; she really wished she had her voice, so she could ask. Maybe it was Bakaito- it was longer, after all. 'Bakaito', then.

" Well, just giving a bowl of it would be nice," he muttered, then flounced across the room to sit in the furniture made of wood across from Miki. Meiko rolled her eyes.

" I'm not getting you any ice cream, Bakaito," she said, crossing her arms. " You've already brought home this skinny kid, and I'm not giving you the energy to go find more of 'em," she muttered, then strode out of the room.

Kaito smiled at Miki, and chuckled a little.

" Even if she acts like she's too old for this stuff, Meiko is probably the reason the household hasn't turned into anarchy by now," he told Miki (did he expect her to reply? he knew she couldn't talk...). He looked nervous for a moment, then gazed fixedly at the mini-sun hanging from the ceiling. Miki looked up at it as well, but found it extremely uninteresting, so she looked back down at 'Bakaito'.

" I respect Meiko a lot, you know," he admitted. " She acts like an adult, and doesn't spend all her money on ice cream, like me." He sounded sort of sad. Miki nodded, as if to say 'go on,' and he continued.

" Meiko's smart and independent, and she doesn't take sides in arguments. Once Rin and Len" - Miki wondered if 'Rin' and 'Len' were the blonde lookalikes from the main room- " got into a _really_ bad fight, and Meiko walked up to them and slapped Len in the face. Rin was about to say, 'I was right, see?' but then Meiko slapped her too, and told them to get along. I'm hopeless when it comes to stuff like that..." Again, he looked sad. Miki shook her head no quickly. He looked at her and asked, " You think so?" She shook her head yes in reply, and he laughed. Miki stared at him quizzically.

" I'm sorry, it's just that your hair bobs up and down when you nod!" he explained, smiling.

Miki felt warm, not like the room was warm, but like she herself was warm.

" BAKAITO!" 'Meiko' yelled from another place in the house. He stood up quickly and sped out of the room. Miki watched him go quizzically.

A moment later, 'Meiko' stalked into the room.

" Where did he go? He's got a lot of explaining to do!" she demanded, looking very angry. Miki thought about it for a moment, then got out of the furniture made of wood and walked over to the doorframe, pointing the opposite of the way he'd gone. 'Meiko' then stalked out of the room in that direction. After a moment, she backtracked and said, " Right, Spaghetti-chan, you're sleeping in the guest room tonight."

Miki liked these humans. After a moment of tapping the fork on the corner of the plastic box (which was now empty) she decided to go look for the guest room.

* * *

><p>THE TERMINOLOGY IN THIS IS SO CONFUSING DEAR QUALIA- but anyway, I decided to write up a hypothetical situation where Miki was a songbird that got turned into a human. It started out a little like the Little Mermaid, but in the end I just kept the muteness and species-changing. Why Miki? Well, a long time ago I found a Miki song called "Song Bird" on NicoNico, and I downloaded it for some reason (I don't even know what it's about, because I barely know any Japanese). Also, the picture in it was very pretty. But anyway.<br>Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid, because if I did, I would change Lily's outfit to something more... modest.  
>Do you see the review button? His cholera isn't getting any better, and every review is a step towards curing him. Cure his illness, darling readers. I beg of you, end his suffering.<p> 


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